Weirdness from Bananas...

       I must preface this new post with the fact that I love s'mores. It is literally my favorite dessert item of all time. That being said, I do not like the flavor of s'mores with bananas. "Bananas?" you might ask. Yes, bananas. I made the terrible decision to leave all of my s'more making supplies over a fresh bunch of bananas which was all well and good until those bananas weren't so fresh. What happened next? I started eating my delicious  looking s'mores and...they tasted like bananas. Weird. But this did get me thinking: for all of the "power"of ripe bananas to infuse surrounding objects with both their odor and flavor, how do big companies make banana flavored items? I mean, is it all chemicals at this point? I would think you could save a lot of money and be organically minded if you just put your food you wanted flavored near a gross pile of bananas for about a week. Big companies out there, I will be expected royalties from the utilization of my new technique which shall be henceforth dubbed "Banana tastesmellification". That or "Banana a la Lamoreaux". Get back to me on that.

Working with Sculpey

           For all  those fellow artistic types, I've decided to put together a primer on making polymer clay figures, heads, or whatever else you fancy. The tools and techniques I describe in the following sections are just the way I do it, but there are many other great ways to go about creating excellent pieces.  I hope this helps for those who are just getting started, folks who just need a refresh, or other artists looking for other techniques. This may seem a bit dry at first, but if you read through it I'm sure you won't regret it. And if I'm lucky and I get enough feedback, I will be more than happy to do more in-depth posts on this topic in the future. Happy modeling!   
EDIT: 2.12.2013: Just interested in just making a quick head like I have pictured here? Check out the quick step-by-step guide "Making a Sculpey Head...Quick!" under the Pages Tab.

Okay, Step #1: Get your Supplies in Order:

            If you dork out as soon as you enter any craft store, then this step is great. Be forewarned though that like anything there is an initial investment you'll want to make. The good news is, with Sculpey you have a ton of leeway between starting and finishing the piece your working on and can thus make "installments" on what you want to buy and when. In this section I will be introducing you to what I like to have laying around, from start to finish.

            Armature Supplies:

  Making an armature is an important step not to leave out. One of the worst things you can see happen to a great looking piece is either it has fingerprints and smudges all over, or a flat edge from where it was being worked. Nothing like erasing all your awesome detail work in about 2.5 seconds.

            For starters, get a nice flat, clean board to work with, maybe about 1/2 inch thick, 6in x 6in. I use planks of solid oak that have been sanded, but laminated boards and metal stands are also perfect. The big thing to consider here is the size of your finished piece. Small pieces only need a small platform, while larger pieces may need a more complex set up of steel pipe and couplings.  Also make sure that whatever surface you choose to set your armature on, it's solid and won't move on you during your work.

            Either a piece of all thread (5/16 inch) with a matching nut or a long stiff wire like a coat hanger is another item you will need. This gives you a way to support your armature and keep it in place on your work board. After drilling a hole in it (with a bit and drill, yes), you can stick it down and then twist it to keep it in place.

            Steel armature wire, metal snips, and pliers. You will use these to create the general (very general) shape of your piece, kind of like a skeleton. You will need between 12 and 16 gauge wire for this and can find them in a decent sized spool at any hardware store for relatively cheap. This will probably last awhile. The snips need to be decent because you will get a lot of use out of them, but the pliers are only used for shaping and don't need to be anything fancy.

            Next you will need a roll of aluminum foil. I usually get the cheap stuff, but you can buy the good stuff for your kitchen and then recycle it back to your workspace if it's clean enough after using. Two birds with one stone! Aluminum foil is one of the best mediums for bulking out your wire armature as it is cheap and can be baked without fear or repercussions.

Sculpey:

         This comes in two main flavors (please don't actually test this out): the Super Sculpey original which looks kinda pink, and the Super Sculpey Firm, which is grey. One thing you'll notice once you really get cracking with your first model or whatever, is that as you work with Sculpey and it gets warm, it has a tendency to move around a lot easier. This is great for roughing out your first features, but as you get into more complex details, such as textures, this becomes a hassle. This is where Firm Sculpey is much better, it retains more easily, even when warmed up. This of course presents challenges too, you can't knead it as easily, and it rips sometimes instead of bending. All this aside, depending on what project you're working on, either one of these could be better than the other. Last note, Sculpey comes in a whole range of colors, but those packages of pre-colored Sculpey are more expensive and there's no reason you can't paint your finished pieces anyway. More on that later.

Clay Working Tools:

            You don't need to go crazy here, as I said before, Sculpey is perhaps one of the most forgiving mediums you can use. I love my plastic tool set I bought for $7 from Hobby Lobby. It includes 9 tools and works great for everything from roughing out to finishing details.

            I also have a used band saw blade, and a hack saw blade in my arsenal. These are awesome for getting quick chunks of Sculpey cut off from your main block. Just be careful, even if they don't cut metal or wood so well, your fingers are still fair game.

            A toothbrush is next and it provides everything from giving texture, to smoothing over areas where you grafted two or more pieces together.

            I have an old set of woodcarving chisels that afford me the ability to quickly and cleanly cut, reshape, and provide textures like grooves, etc. These are a bit more expensive and not entirely necessary, but they are great to have around.

            Harbor Freight is an excellent place for sculpting artists and enthusiasts to go. Decent tools at cheap prices, and you really don't need much else. Probes for example (think back to high school biology dissections) are only a couple of bucks there and give you the ability to put on hair-thin details for finishing your pieces.

            Another great thing to have in your inventory is a drill bit or two. This makes inserting extra pre-cooked pieces, such as hair, arms, whatever, much easier. I just took a piece of 1/2 inch dowel rod and put two drill bits in, one on each end, and voila, instant hand held drill.

            The next tool is the pasta maker. Although the model I have is cheap and does it's job okay, having a motor driven version for about $100 makes a huge difference if you are making more than one piece per week. I found that when I was cranking on the handle o the $20 one it started stripping out the inside of the plastic handle. Get one either way though because making  sheet of 1/4 inch Sculpey in two seconds versus hand rolling adds consistency and time efficiency.

            Paints and finishes:   

            Although Sculpey can be painted, the best method for using acrylic paints (water-based) is to prime the figures first. This step happens after baking, but regardless of that, I like to use Artists' Gesso. This stuff takes forever to go bad (I've had mine for well over 6 years), covers exceptionally well, and usually only costs about $6-10 for a half gallon. Honestly it covers so well I have yet to refill my little baby food jar I use to store it in small amounts. As long as you don't glob it on and you spread it evenly, this stuff takes top-coats of colored paint like a pro.

          An array of acrylic paint colors is a good I dead for finishing your work. They are cheap and cover decently for the price. If you want the most professional look though (and expensive!), skip the Gesso and acrylic double-whammy and just get oil based paints like you would get for hobby models.

            Last thing here, final finishing coats. Best idea here? Spray on top coats. These most commonly come in matte (no shine), satin (small shine), semi-gloss (medium shine), and gloss (high shine) so choose accordingly to how you want the end result to look. Remember, the higher the gloss the more durability, but for more realism and such, go for a matte or satin finish. Also keep in mind that these top-coats are just like whatever you put under them: if you used water based, use water based top coat (or a lacquer), if you used oil, use an oil-based spray. All of these basic options should be available at a hardware store for a couple of dollars, but there are better selections for quality at artist depots and hobby stores, just be ready to shell out more for those.

         Quick note, Sculpey can become quite fragile, especially as it comes out of the oven and if your detail work is delicate. Solution? Super Glue, it works like a champ.











Storage of Sculpey:

            I use just a simple set of Gladware containers here. It keeps the clay all in one place, it's cheap, and durable enough to get the job done.

Step #2: No Plan, No Project:

            Remember that test you took back in high school? The one you didn't even study for and you still got an 'A'? Well working on art projects isn't like that and I hope I'm just preaching to the choir here.  Your first thing is to sketch out a design or idea. This helps get your brain in the right place to anticipate the order through which you will make your piece. The more complex your piece, the more you need to plan. Now I know, you saying "Dude, I'm just making a goblin head. I'm not adding any crazy details, no paint, nothing. Why should I care about planning it out?" Well to that I say, "Why not?" You could make it better for having planned it out and to be honest, you might like the end result more. So don't skimp on this step. You don't have to sketch like Leonardo da Vinci to get an idea out, those sketches are for you to understand where to put joints,  come up with ideas, and even place a skeleton of your armature.  And who knows if you stick with it long enough, maybe those sketches might look pretty B.A..

Step #3: Set Up Your Armature:

            There is a plethora of ways to do this.  Just check out YouTube and you'll see what I mean, but the real question is the size of your piece. If you  have a small piece, there's no reason to invest in steel pipe and all that, because all you really need is a good supply of steel wire and a rod.

            Moving from here, take the board and drill a hole in it that is tje same size as the support rod or wire you chose to use. This will keep it in place better than if your hole is exactly the same size or slightly larger. Next, either using a counter sink bit, or a much larger drill bit, make a second hole a third of the way through your original hole. Although this is much easier to do with a drill press, there's nothing stopping you from using a normal drill. This gives you the required space to either store the extra wire or attach a nut on the backside of the board and keep the support rod from moving. Remember, where you put this hole should be in the best location to allow for your piece to remain completely on the board, you don't want a leg or something hanging off the end.

            Now, using your sketches as a guide, start to construct your armature. It should start with the wires and then bulk out with the aluminum foil. Take your time here. No one likes to hear this but for a complex piece, an armature could take a day to complete. Keep in mind that your feet and hands might need to be a bit long until after you finish putting Sculpey on. This allows you to get the length you need to secure it without having trouble later on. When your wire skeleton is complete, then you can move to adding the aluminum foil. Wrapping it on is the best way to achieve both bulk, and the resiliency it needs to start pressing Sculpey on next, so do it in layers. Also make sure to keep a spot open for your support rod to go later, if you don't your piece won't have anywhere to stay put. Keep checking your dimensions out against your sketches as this will keep you honest. You don't want to have a finished piece that is huge compared to what you planned. Last point here: Keep your armature about 1/4 inch - 3/4 inch less than your sketch. This allows for the addition of a healthy amount of workable Sculpey (not digging into the aluminum) in the next stage of work.

Step #4: Clean Workspace, Clean Project:

            Hard one, I know. When you're ready to begin make sure all of your stuff is laid out ready to go and then Go Wash Your Hands. Gasp! I sounded just like your Mom at dinner, sorry about that. Seriously though this, makes a big difference. Your hands might looks clean, but when you start working with Sculpey it literally sucks all of the nastiness right out of your pores and your fingerprints.  Make sure your work space is free from eraser leftovers, pencil graphite, and whatever else might be lurking around after you made you armature. It would be terrible to realize after you've made an awesome piece that there is a piece of lead sticking through the back.

Step #5: Sculpey Time:

            Don't go nuts here now, take your time. Keep your armature off of the stand too, as we don't want to make it more difficult than it should be.  The stand is only needed for your detailing and more specific shaping. Start by put thin strips of Sculpey on and do a good job of pressing the stuff into the cracks and crevices of the aluminum and wire. When you have all of your armature sufficiently covered...then you can start adding more thin strips on, same as before. If you pile it up too fast, it won't mesh well with the previous layers and you'll have loose Sculpey hanging off all over the place. Yuck.

            As soon as your sketches show your done, then you can test mount your armature onto your support rod, hopefully into that spot you created earlier in your armature (Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge). Take the piece off the rod for a second and make a small piece of Sculpey that will act as a plug later for this spot. Put the piece back on and then you can truly begin to shape your it.

            At this point you will be using your tools from the order in which your working: from general to specific. Don't try to do everything at once here because you'll end up with a bunch of mismatched parts that make up your piece and a lot of time wasted going back and fixing it to look better overall. If you do it in steps, you'll have no problem. Texturing and details should be last.

            Many hours (or days) later, when you happy with your piece, you can then bake the piece on a cookie sheet in your oven. Don't forget to include your little plug you made earlier. As long as you didn't have any thick chunks of Sculpey, your piece should be done in about 15-20 minutes at 275 degrees. Let the piece cool until it no longer feels warm and then you can take it off of the stand and plug the hole with your little piece you baked and some super glue.

            

Step #6: Paint it Up:

Whatever you decided on (oil-based or water-based) make sure you have all the supplies laid out and ready to go with either mineral spirits or water to clean the brushes.  Working in layers is the best practice here to slowly build up the most natural color. You can always dry brush the paint on and wipe it off, or use a clean cloth to wipe it into cracks but leave the crests clean. One nice thing about the original Sculpey is that when it is baked properly, it has a nice skin tone. All you really have to add is accents to make it pop.

            Let your paint dry until it is no longer tacky and then let it dry for about two more days after that before you put on a top-coat sealer. Honestly, the longer you wait the better here, as paint has a tendency to "off-gas" until about two weeks later. This could potentially cloud whatever top-coat you put on and keep it from looking as good as you might like.

            When you are ready, take the piece somewhere like a garage or other spot that is a large space and doesn't have any breezes. Bring some card board with you to act as a shield. Slowly spray on your top-coat and keep it light. If you over do it, it will drip down and won't look very good. Give it at least a few hours to dry and then you should be good. Again, the longer you wait before touching it the better.

           

Step #7: Admire the Awesome:

            Now that your piece is finished, you should put it somewhere where folks see it! If you worked hard the results should show, but to be fair most first pieces can be pretty terrible. Don't let it get you down though, be proud to show it off, that way later when your pieces rock, you can show how far you came and impress a whole new generation of Sculpey sculptors.

            I hope this guide was helpful in at least some small way to any of you who actually stumble upon my blog, and hope more can be done in the future. If you have any questions just let me know, and if you need more resources I will include a list of links afterwards for you to take a look at. Until next time.

                

Here come the Zombies!!!

Okay, I'll make my first official post about something I'm sure we're all worried about. You know, with 2012 and the end of the World on it's way... The Zombie Apocalypse!!! To be honest, although I don't believe it'll happen, there are days when I find myself ruminating a bit on just how zombies could actually exist. Now, I've been told by one of my friends that by "dissecting" how zombies work is counter productive.The fun comes from their bizarreness, right? Unfortunately, thanks to way too many science classes I seem to be obsessed with figuring out the logistics. I just won't tell my buddy!

I'll start it off by listing the known "facts" about zombies. The best way to look at a problem is from multiple views, and so for the benefit of the argument I'll try to incorporate more than one type of zombie: movie zombie, mythical zombie, and the scientific zombie (no you won't find them in a lab coat, they're just more factual). After this, I will attempt to put to type my thoughts about why it doesn't work, and lastly I will show how I think a zombie might exist.


1. Zombies are dead.
Whoa, news flash I know. True unless we take the "28 Days Later", half-alive version. However, this is an important note because it affects quite a bit more further on.

2. Zombies eat brains.
Yeah, that's right brains. There are no vegen zombies, at least not that I've heard of... but there are those who eat any flesh, which we'll come back to.

3. Zombies are slow.
Not having higher brain functioning and decomposing bodies makes it tough for them to run.

4. Zombies don't have anything more than primal brain functioning.
What this really means is that zombies can't reason, open a door, or beat you at a game of checkers.

5. To kill the zombie you have to brain them.
No awesome flame thrower or acid attacks here folks.

6. You get bitten, or a chunk of zombie nast gets into a cut, bye-bye college career: you're now one of them.

These are 6 basic principals that I think the majority of zombies follow, but of course rules are meant to be broken... at least where some innovative (and sometimes badly thought out) zombie flicks are concerned. Okay so let's go from here and discuss more in detail how each zombie category might utilize each of the six categories.

Movie Zombie: Definitely dead, I'm hearkening back to "Dawn of the Dead" and all those. These zombies all come from Zombie Alpha, who probably got infected by a virus, or a rabid dog in the Appalachians. Most movies aren't as concerned with the "how" so much as the "holy crap, there are zombies everywhere and I'm sick of running and only eating twinkies" feeling. These zombies seem to possess super strength, chainsaw arms, you name it. And lucky for you, intrepid hero, you can use just about anything to stop them, even that ridiculous hunting knife you carry around. These zombies normally just wander around, especially at night, and collect in groups as they seek fresh meat. They're slow, stupid, and smell bad. Not too much truth behind them, again, we're going with the gore factor, not real science! Come on people! Zombie team -2, Humans +2

Mythical Zombie: A lot of the zombie hype came from the old tellings of big bad voodoo daddies and witch doctors raising the dead to do their bidding, usually by means of a secret potion or something of that nature. They have super strength, won't die even if you pop them in the head, and have in some instances been able to use magic themselves. Overall if you're the hero, this presents one of the worst versions of a zombie you could possible go up against. Zombie team +3, humans -1.

Scientific Zombie: Books like "World War Z" and others have really tried to bring some scientific street cred back to the humble zombie. They attempt to answer the questions of "how" and "what", and even throw in a bit of "where" for good measure. These zombies follow set rules, don't change much, and the plot centralizes primarily on the humans who survive and how they fight back. These zombies come from either a form of rabies, or a parasite of some type and they can be killed pretty easily just by destroying the majority of the brain. Another thing I like about these zombies is that the reality of them, if they entered this world, is truly scary. There is a lot we take for granted about the movie versions, but if scientific zombies did exist, most folks would be screwed; not because people are inherently dumb, but because they would overlook too much. For example, zombies don't breathe, so all of your favorite water holes and pools, ponds, and reservoirs would potentially be harboring a bunch of soggy zombies, just waiting to drag you down to a murky doom. Zombie team -2, Humans +2.

Now that we've covered all of these different zombitypes in more detail, I want to talk about some of the inherent issues with traditional "zombieism". Again I'll attack this with a list, just to keep all of the ideas more coherent. Three choices here, just to keep it easy:

1. Necrosis of tissue: Pyrobeastialicnecrophiliaphobia? Okay, maybe not, but because zombies are dead, their flesh, and all other body systems begin to decompose. Hence bad smell, rotting limbs, flayed flesh, all the gross stuff Hollywood loves to show us. However, if indeed zombies were rotting, how much longer would nerves relaying electrical signals fire, or even be able to transmit a signal? Body systems work in a complex exchange of heat, proteins, sugars, and enzymatic reactions, not to mention a bunch of other stuff, so if the body is dead, there is no way for these interactions to occur. Thus no energy, thus no movement.

2. Reintegration of vital amino acids and energy absorption: By eating guts and brains, we would assume that zombies are gaining something, either in the form of sustenance, or at least on a basic level, energy. Again, energy comes from breaking down more complex molecules into less complex ones, thus to continue to move, especially with super strength etc, they would need copious amounts of energy coming in to balance that which they put out. Otherwise they would look a bit like our national coffers, and that would be one sad zombie.

3. Corporate sociology of survivors: This part is actually related more towards the environment within which a zombie lives, but it is important because it affects their survival. People, for the majority of cases, work together tremendously well in the face of a common enemy. Zombies are great because instead of demonizing another group of humanity, like comics from WWII did to the Japanese and Germans, the enemy actually is a monster. There isn't much rationalizing that needs to occur to feel okay with blowing away a couple of zombies, especially when you, your family, or friends are in danger.

So, now that I've officially upset my friend by unmystifying the zombie, I'll have to make amends by explaining some ways "zombieism" would be possible. First, we would need a mechanism for creating the zombie, and I'm going to go with good old-fashioned communal parasitism with a dash of zoonautic disease transferal for good measure.

Let's get away for a second from the standard, "man bitten by dog" scenario of first infection. Let's say we take a species of aggressive mold or fungus that acts communally and discovers how to take over its host without eventually killing it. In fact, it figures out a way to incorporate itself into the nerve fiber of whatever it infects to, allowing for some amount of rudimentary control. Now that infected host, maybe just an ant to start, begins infecting all of its colony mates. Eventually, we have a huge amount of infected hosts biologically connected to one another through their nervous systems. Then it needs to spread out more. At this point, we start going up the ladder of social animals until... dog bites man. Whoa wait, I said that wouldn't happen. What's more realistic at this point? Ah yes, man's friend's dog humps man's leg. Okay, maybe I'm just harboring resentment about that incident, but still... Dog meets other dogs at park, sniff sniff leads to infection, and voilà! now five other dogs go home to five families.

Just like that we have a plausible (although not realistic per se) interpretation of how infection could occur. Now we need to figure out how to make this into more a archetypical zombie.

From here, let's say the original communal parasite changes as it moves up through the animal kingdom. It gets better at handling complex nervous systems like mammals and eventually adapts the ability to pilot our nerves. When this parasitic mold or fungus attacked ants, the rudimentary commands of "forward", "back", et-cetera were all it could use, and so it required very little energy to maintain control. But now, with more complex organisms, it needs more fuel. It changes the hosts' bodies a bit. to accommodate for this. Maybe the skin starts to exhibit a more dead look, green and slimy, coated in oozing mold; but still very much alive. Maybe the stomach and intestines have been modified to absorb nutrients essential to promoting growth and maintain control of the host organism's nervous system. And perhaps other adaptations occur to make the fungus's survival more secure, all the while making the host more zombie-like. Death factor -10. Awesome living zombie +15.

That wraps up a quick summary of a unique method for the creation of a more rationally formed zombie. I hope I was able to salvage a bit from those who believe that rationalizing zombies is a waste of time, and lent a new perspective on a unique topic. Here's to 10 months and counting before the Zombie Apocalypse!

UPDATE 02/10/2012 Are you kidding me!? I just opened up my new Game Informer Magazine and read about the new Video Game "The Last of Us" and as awesome as it looks, it uses my FUNGAL INFECTION scenario! I guess I should give them kudos for coming up with such a brilliant idea though. Maybe this works like co-discoveries in science: if two people discovery the same thing, in two parts of the world, at the same time, they both get credit for it. Oh well, we'll see.